當兵亂記（四）- Almost Famous（成名在望）

好久沒有寫Blog了，似乎應該要來update一下。

您的退伍生效日期是：2010年6月1日零時零分
今天是2010年3月11日，是您入伍的第254天

距離退伍還有82天, 也就是7041959秒，經過了75.6703%

還有111天才過一年，撐下去就是你的！
破百已經18天嘍，恭喜進入待退期
什麼都是假的，平安退伍才是真的

也許是開始萌生一種「喔，我快退伍了！」的想法，破百後的日子反而呈現很奇妙的緩慢氛圍，時間開始不再讓人有快速流逝的感覺，取而代之的是對未來的徬徨和人際關係焦慮症。說來可笑，其實一直不喜歡去談內心受外在因素的變化，也盡量避免這些事物去改變作法。然而從當兵之後，卻越來越按奈不住，尤其是日前重看了一次"Almost Famous（成名在望）"之後，潰堤得不可收拾。

Almost Famous在我心中一直有著不可撼動的地位，因為主角們在Doris上合唱"Tiny Dancer"的那個畫面，給了我所有所有的動力去追求構足那畫面的一切元素：music, friends, and the dreaming girl "Penny Lane."。我常常幻想著也許哪天可以和好友唱著屬於這年代的金曲，去感受生命的細節和每個片段（road trip perhaps），也期望著我的Penny Lane可以親口對我說："You are home."。

so let me be frankly: i hope i was William Miller. that way, i could do lots of crazy things(at least it seems crazy that time) to fill with my empty adolescence. i know it may sounds silly, but i do have this kind of fancy.

but the reality always brings me down

這麼說似乎有點「為賦新詞強說愁」的味道，然而在現實生活裡，我仍然無法完成一個像樣的road trip，無法找到一首共同回憶的歌曲﹔漸漸失去了我所有的朋友，更別說那幾近幻想的Penny Lane，應該是八竿子打不著吧我猜（其實這點我反倒釋懷了），可以說是一無所獲。既然Cameron Crowe所安排的結局不屬於我，then i have to find my own one. 我不知道該如何前進，也不知道是否真的有路可走，but life will find its way out.而我也只能這麼相信著。

也許把希望和夢想依託在一個電影的畫面有點蠢，但我還是希望，當我死去的時候，也可以唱著Tiny Dancer，咀嚼著相同的回憶。


// Tiny Dancer - clip of the film "Almost Famous"



// Lyrcis

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand